Special thanks to Tanya Higgins for giving her blessing to this gag!
TRANSCRIPTION COURTESY OF JOSEPH HOUK - To the fans of Cassie, Matt & Bethany: We regret to inform you that they have let go due to a corporate buyout of Times Like This by BetaPwned, Inc. BetaPwned's Jeanine and John will be taking over operation of the time machine effective immediately. (Jeanine, holding the time machine) "Ooooh... I love this gorgeous little time-travely thing already! What year should we visit first?" (John) "How about we go back to 1963 and tell those 'Louie Louie' guys to fucking ENUNCIATE MORE!!!!" (Jeanine) "Those Lyric Zombies still getting to ya, huh?"