Let's start... the Familyyyy Feuuuud!
TRANSCRIPTION COURTESY OF JOSEPH HOUK - (Mom, dealing with the sleeping arrangements) "So, Cassie, you can go stay in your old room. Patrick, you don't mind taking the couch so Geri can have your bed, do you?" (PatW, who probably knows what's coming) "That's fine..." (Mom) "Which leaves Philip. Well... I think we still got that old air mattress. Bobby, can you look in the attic?" (PW) "Look, you don't have to go through all that trouble, I'll just book a hotel room." (CW) "Yeah, Geri can have my bed and Patrick can have his. I'll just stay with Philip." (Mom) "Oh, you will do no such thing! You don't need to be sleeping in his room where he can tempt you!" (CW) "TEMPT me?" (Mom) "YES! You have been... um... deflowered that one time, but that's NO excuse to not keep saving yourself for marriage!" (CW) "ONE time? Mother, you seriously believe I haven't had sex since THEN?" (PW, to Dad) "This... isn't good." (Dad, aside to PW) "Brace yourself, son. Tornado's about to hit."