Jeffersonian Principles - Part 7

Part 7

Sure, they could've charged it to the stimulus package, but when you have the power to go back and save $5000 from being vaporized in a stock meltdown, why burden the government any further?

Comic transcript

TRANSCRIPTION COURTESY OF JOSEPH HOUK - (AJ, wearing one of Cassie's OU shirts) "Look, Mister Scott… I really don't want any help. I'd rather figure this shit out myself…" (KS) "Allen… We all need a helping hand every once in a while. (digging something out of a briefcase) And here's what we have set up, thanks to my friends in witness protection… You'll get a slight different name… Instead of Allen Daniel Jefferson, you'll now be known as Allen Thomas Jefferson. With that will go a new Social Security Number. We can alter your school records and relocate them to a faraway high school, like in Iowa or something. That way you'll have no criminal record on file. Sex offender status… gone. And finally, we'll give you Five thousand dollars that would have been otherwise lost in the 2008 stock market crash. No questions asked. (giving him the money) That’s all we're doing for you. A clean slate and startup money. Everything else, you're on your own." (AJ) "Well, thanks, but – " (CW) "ALLEN… Do it. For me. Please." (AJ looks at her for a moment, then) "Thanks. I'll try my best to put that to good use."

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