If Historical Figures Did Television Commercials #5
Those Hilshire Farms ads have got to be the corniest commercials I've seen in a while. I didn't like the first few they did... I mean, come on, let the guy eat his lunch, he doesn't need a freakin' pep rally about his lunchmeat. But I am amused by the latest ones.
Happy Turkey Day, my fellow Americans!
TRANSCRIPTION COURTESY OF JOSEPH HOUK - "If Historical Figures Did Television Commercials, #5"
 (Pilgrim Female 1, holding a turkey on a plate, with
Pilgrim Male 1) "We come in peace, and we brought
dinner! (Native American male) "Turkey? Great! Looks
like a winner!" (Native American female, with another
male wearing a "mohawk" and carrying corn) "Try our
corn, we love it so... It goes well with that you know!"
(Pilgrim Male 2) "We got the finest bird for you..."
(Pilgrim Female 2) "Nice and juicy, through and through!"
(Pilgrim Male 1) "Can't forget to send our love to the Big
Guy up above!" (Both Pilgrim Females) "Yeah, We...
Give... Thanks to you! I said We give thanks to you!"
(Native American Female) "Say whaaaat?" (Pilgrim Male 1) "When I say Hillshire you say Farm! Hillshire!" (All)
"FARM! ...GO MEAT!"