Mike's Time Machine
A little birthday greeting for my pal Mike McFarland, whose birthday is on July 14th. This gag is based on a recurring sketch from Dead Comix Society and Section 8 Comedy, two comedy troupes that have had Mike as a cast member. The basic gist of the sketch was: that Mike had a time machine, and he would use it to gun down various people before they would even think up an idea that Mike thinks is horrible (translation: that the Section 8 Comedy audience would applaud if the idea was brutally squashed). The sketches basically go like this: 1) Person or persons think up bad idea; 2) Mike appears and machine-guns everyone dead; 3) Voiceover guy goes "This has been another beneficial use of Mike's Time Machine!", fade lights, end scene.
(And before you get the wrong idea, I personally have nothing against High School Musical. And neither does Mike, I'm certain.)
TRANSCRIPTION COURTESY OF JOSEPH HOUK - [2004; Disney Headquarters, Anaheim, California] (Older
Exec Type) "Alright, people, Eisner wants us to come up
with a new musical aimed at teens and pre-teens, something
that can be marketed endlessly." (Redhead Gal) "Um...
some middle-school kids form an Emo band?" (OET) "No,
that would get too outdated too quickly." (Blonde guy)
"How about... some teenagers start their own zoo, with
talking and singing animals, the overall theme is to save the
environment." (OET) "You're aiming too young, Man!
Teens won't go for that!" (Token Black Disney Guy) "I got
one. Two kids from different social groups meet in drama
class and fall in love, and they have to deal with peer
pressure and practice for a musical!" (OET) "Hmmm, I
like it, that sounds like a hit, it just needs a catchy title...
'You're Gonna Be A Star'? Naah, too lengthy. 'Showtime'?
No, scratch that..." (Red) "Um, how about we just call
'High School Musical'? " (OET) "Excellent choice!
Simple, yet catchy! Okay, people, I want a working script
by a week from tomor—" [WHAM – door opens to a man
with a machine gun!] AAAAAAAAH Rattatttattattattat
 (Angry Mike McFarland from Dead Comix
Society/Section 8 Comedy) "...And that's what I'd do if I
had a time machine, man!" (MG) "I see..." (to himself) Note
to self: Keep Cassie away from this guy...